100+ days later...

It’s been five months guys. That’s over 100 days. And in those 100+ days, I have gone from cloud 9 to hell on earth and back again. I mean, that can be expected right? It’s life. Life just happens sometimes. But when I say that these past five months have been some of the hardest I have ever faced, it’s an understatement. The good news? I am not the same person I was those few months ago when I started this blog. It’s not that I dislike who I was before, but I definitely like the present Nicole a heck of a lot more. So, how do I bring everyone up to speed? How do I share what has happened and where I’ve been? Sigh. It would be a shorter list to tell you where I haven’t been. But, resisting the urge to get all sad and full of self-pity, I’ll claim victory over my life, because Jesus wouldn’t have it any other way.

For starters, when I started this blog back in September, just about to start my very first (and very avoided) Whole30 Challenge, I was a woman obsessed with perfection. My reasons for doing the challenge were rooted in aesthetics and fear of never being the perfect weight, the perfect size, the perfect athlete, the perfect anything, really. Of course I still struggle with this; it’s not like that goes away in five months when it’s been a habit for over 10 years. But, I know that there’s a difference between the person I was then than who I am now. I would like to tell you that there are a hundred reasons why I’m not the same person…I’d like to tell you that this plus this plus that minus this brought me to this place of resilience and empowerment, but there aren’t a hundred reasons; there aren’t a hundred ways I was able to be freed. It’s just Jesus; he’s the only way I’ve been able to get up and keep moving, and honestly, to just be fulfilled by hope.  In fact, I would find it a lot easier to just share with you what my story is by allowing you to read a personal letter I wrote to Melissa Hartwig, co-creator and founder of the Whole30 Program. Maybe if you read that, you’ll get a glimpse of who Jesus is, what He’s done in my life, and who I am through it all. Have a read whenever you’d like in my blog post titled "Dear Melissa, I got up from my table".

Thanks for sticking around despite my five month MIA status. I can’t promise that my entries will be of any interest to you, but I do know the power of story. I do know that God works in wondrous ways using people’s stories to influence other people’s lives, with or without realizing it. And although I fail Him so very, very often, I do know Christ wants me, He wants you, He wants restoration. So, for the next five months and the months beyond that, I have my hands open and ready to receive the restoration and healing promised to me, promised to us and as I use this as my public journal, may God use it as a testimony of grace in your life and comfort you that we are in this battle together, and are everything but alone.

Peace, love and apple sauce,

Nicole